by, 02-09-2012 at 12:26 PM (2403 Views)
I had to kill an Alfar today. I knew it was the right thing to do, that I was acting as the hand of justice, and possibly stopping him from killing more people, but…
As I watched the life fade from him I could not help but think about Agarth’s words to me. I wondered about the changes that would ripple through the tapestry of fate because of my action here. I have certainly killed my share of beings since I started down this road, but this is the first mortal. This is the first time I felt….responsible.
As I said I knew that killing him was the right thing. But having to think each time I am faced with this kind of decision, about how it will affect fate’s weave. Does a right killing now justify the consequences later on? Perhaps in killing one Alfar I open the door to thousands of more deaths. My head hurts just thinking about it.
So I have decided that I can not allow such a weight to press down on me. I know that my actions have consequences, but wouldn’t that be true even if I did have a fate? Whether by being part of fate’s weave or not the things any of us do have consequences beyond what we can see in the moment. I have to base my judgment on what I believe to be the right path, and not try and take responsibility for what I can not see.
The road ahead seems a bit more solid as I continue on. I have leads to peruse about my fatelessness and I am able to help others along the way. I am happy to do so, as it fills me with a purpose that is not selfish in nature. I find myself, for the first time, looking forward to what the morning will bring.